DEAR DIARY: STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS!
Up until just a little while ago (literally)…I would look at other people’s lives and say “ I wish that was me.” Everybody does or has done this at some point in their lives and we’d all be lying if we said otherwise. It’s completely natural as imperfect humans to do this so it’s also very common. However, just because we all do it, doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily “good” for our emotional health.
I, personally would look at my friends and even family…wishing I had their level of education (Masters & Ph’Ds) and their professional careers. It’s not that I would be envious of them…I simply wished I would’ve done what they did…further my education or enter Corporate America. It literally used to upset me that people would refer to me as “just an instagram model” when I’ve never wanted or claimed to be that…and although I’ve made what some would consider “a lot of money”..(even more money than those who I admire) owning businesses/marketing/working for myself through social media..I felt I never received the same respect as they do simply because I didn’t have a professional title infront my name.
All that to say, I still only have a Bachelors Degree and I still don’t work in Corporate America. However I would still consider myself to be a very happy person. How? Because I learned to stop comparing myself with others and wishing for what they had and I’m beyond thankful and feel fortunate for what I’ve been able to accomplish thus far.
Some of you might have had these same feelings at one time or another..perhaps you have had insecurities that stemmed from your desire to have someone else’s looks, their money, status or perhaps even their fame. I don’t consider myself to be rich by any means, I am certainly not famous and I am also not the most beautiful woman in the world…however, I find that many people still constantly compare themselves to me… whether it’s a comparison to what I “have,” what I do, or the way I look. These same people don’t know me from a can of paint (lol..seriously, I could be some schizophreniac for all they know) therefore they don’t know my daily struggles and all that I’ve gone through!
My Message to you:
When you compare yourself to others you are creating a totally unrealistic measure for what constitutes “happiness” and “success.” Our society today, TV and Social Media all promote unrealistic expectations of what we are supposed to be, what we want to be and what we are supposed to have.
You may wish you were wealthy..perhaps the level of wealth that would rank you #5 on the FORBES list..but then what? You would still be mad at the 4 people who are richer than you.
You may wish to be as beautiful as the most beautiful model in the world…only to find out that there is someone more beautiful than her!
You might want someone else’s successes…you may even envy their talent..but I am almost certain you wouldn’t want their same struggles, trials and tribulations that they had to overcome to get to where they are now.
If you are going to compare yourself to someone.. you must factor in every single thing about this person (we are all package deals) and if you are not…you are cheating yourself and essentially playing a game of mix and match! In other words you can’t only compare one part of someone else’s life in “isolation.”
It’s like sitting around all day saying:
“ I wish I had Oprah’s wealth and ambition”
“ I want Beyonce’s love/family life”
“ I wish I had Jennifer Lopez’s looks and physique”
“ I also want Mariah Carey’s wardrobe”
Please understand that the “person” who you’re saying you wish to be…doesn’t even exist!
Everyone experiences troubles and has pain in their lives. You don’t know what “that person” has had to deal with, you don’t know their struggles or what demons they’ve had to battle. There are so many examples of extremely wealthy, beautiful, and famous people who have ended their own lives….How many more examples do you really need for you to realize that EVERYONE…….(the Rich, the Poor, the Famous, the Beautiful) has struggles?
We are all imperfect….the bottomline is we will NEVER have everything..so while you are comparing and wishing to be someone else..chances are that same person doesn’t even want to be themselves!
Saying that, I think it’s safe to say that you DON’T want anybody else’s life…..you simply want your own life…only a better version of it. So today, I would like to share with you the first step toward making your life better….STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS and appreciate all that god has given you. Try it…i’m sure you will enjoy your results!